Oh, what a difference a day makes! Yesterday it was sunny and a balmy 51°, and today it's snowing, the high is a frigid 26°, and the temps aren't expected to top that again before Friday. Well, it is January, and the house is cozy....
But a walk through the garden hinted at something else yesterday.....
The Valentine flag waves gently in the Spring-like breeze
My irises are confused!
Back in the house, it's as if the coziness of the decor laughs at the outdoors trying to feign Spring...
...and back outside, my little 'Augustine' seems to be preparing for cold winds (at least his neck is!)...
...and my winter 'Seasons' statue, at least, knows what may come, but his spring counterpart seems to ignore the call.
The birds (those indoors, anyway) know what season it still is....
Minton Hollins & Co. Patent Tile Works Stoke on Trent (England) , signed Alice J. Riggs, "Christmas 1884"
...yet the garden seems to want to come alive and move!
Weeping cedar atlas, spreading its branches across the brick wall
Screeeech!! Break's over.....it is still January. And that means it's still winter. Here are the same scenes, less than 24 hours later.....
The Valentine flag seems to be frozen still, and the stepping stones are all but gone...
Augustine looks like he's wearing a pillbox hat and a sheep over his shoulders, perhaps?
The irises aren't confused...they KNOW it's winter
Winter and Spring statues appear to be draped in fur
And the weeping cedar atlas looks to be playing freeze tag as opposed to coming alive
And, it's still snowing, not expected to quit for a few hours. Oh, Mother Nature, what a tease you are.
A few more shots from our walk this morning...
A place to sit, under the weeping willow, along the river
Neighbor's mighty magnolia
Our capitol building across the river
Dock, on the river
Back home, in the garden...
My new trellis structure, waiting for Spring and the clematis
(Thank you, Alison for featuring this post on Welcome to Fridays Unfolded at Nancherrow!)
January's theme is universally one of organization - after-holiday deep discounts of remaining inventories and storage containers; white sales for home decor; office and file storage promotions for year-end tax and upcoming year preparedness - and many more. Organization makes for a great topic to explore year round, but what better time to get started than at the beginning of a new year?
With this post - one of a series I will be writing throughout the year - I will put my spin on how I organize matters in my way, and offer tips for you to consider. My theme will focus on a variety of matters that need order - home, office, garden, antiques, collections, holidays - and any number of other topics that may crop up throughout the year. I like to keep my Panoply of life and living organized, as most of us do.
Today I'll share a few simple tools and ways to organize the paperwork that clutters our life each and every day. Having worked in business most of my adult life, I know paper pushing is a given. Having worked as an accountant, I know "paper trails r us". Now is a great time to start organizing your paper, before the lines between finalizing 2013 and beginning 2014 are completely blurred.
For your convenience, I'll summarize tools suggested at the end of the post.
I start each year with a month-at-a-glance, 8" x 11", spiral bound planner (Staples, $23.99). A manual method is just one way I track activities, but it's great for a quick glance while at my desk. This book has 13 months (I was still using 2013's at this point), pages for notes (such as business travel), and other pertinent information tracking, if manual tracking is your only way of organizing. In my planner, I track hours spent on various activities (husband's business, Panoply styling, blogging, and any other noteworthy project or action).
I also use a couple of mobile apps (free), depending on whether I'm using my Android phone (ColorNotes), or my iPad (Sticky Notes). Don't worry - you don't have to be a rocket scientist to use these apps, although you can get fairly sophisticated with the functionality. My daughter speaks highly of the Hours Tracker App (for iPad, iPhone/iPod, Android), and loves it for tracking job hours, generating reports, and exporting to email for free-lance work she does (she is not a business major, yet finds it very user-friendly). I use ColorNotes and Sticky Notes simply to track notes of things while I'm not at my desk, even at the grocery store. Lastly, I use Microsoft Outlook's calendar and contacts for important dates (birthdays, appointments, etc.) that I want reminded of, as well as addresses of family and friends (beyond the scope of this post).
My husband and I use QuickBooks software for both home and business purposes, but that discussion is beyond the scope of my post now. For source data that goes into the QuickBooks software (statements, invoices, checks), I try my best to receive documents online as much as possible so I can download and store in separate, logical folders on my desktop, but there are still many that are tracked (and reconciled) manually. This post focuses more about the physical source data we are all bombarded with every day. For this, I start with expanding files (Staples, $40.99/25 ct), 3.5" or 5.25". I create a separate file for each: home (personal) and my antiquing (Panoply). These are great in that they are sturdy enough to stand on their own, prior to tidily filing in a cabinet, and allow portability in the interim. Below is my personal (home) expanding file folder for 2013. For my husband's business, record keeping is somewhat more detailed and out of scope in this discussion.
Within each expanding file, I create manila folders (Staples, $13.99/50 ct heavyweight) and label. You can be as detailed or as high level as you wish. For me, you can see I am fairly high level. "Money" includes all bank statements, whether operating, savings or retirement accounts. "Tax Related Info" holds all receipts relevant to filing taxes (W-2s, 1099s, property tax receipts, etc.). I keep a separate "Garden/Weather" folder, as I am pretty detailed with tracking my garden (I print separate calendar sheets for it, and note weather events along with garden tasks from year to year).
For Panoply, I organize similarly. Below is my 2013 expanding file folder for Panoply.
You'll notice there aren't any noticeable manila folders, but there are 3-ring, clear sheet protectors sticking out. One is labeled "RITA'S COPIES JPM". That sheet protector contains paperwork I help sister J reconcile while she is in OH and we are physically in WV with our Panoply activity. I make sure her monthly sales statements from the antique mall reconcile with her listing of items in the store for sale, then store the physical documents in one sheet protector.
I use clear sheet protectors (Staples, $19.99/200 ct) to contain any individual event such as an auction, estate sale, private sale or yard sale purchase made on behalf of my Panoply activity (or, sister J's activity). This keeps small receipts intact, as well as any full-size sheets, but allows access without having to pop a notebook open in order to retrieve a document (or the need to tape small pieces to a full size sheet). Then, either at year-end (or during the year if I'm super-organized), I'll use old-school, spiral notebooks to categorize and keep my sheet protected files organized, separately. Here's an example:
You can see I have placed auction materials (for several years) in this notebook, chronologically, each separated with its own, individual sheet protector. I know I can find original source documents for all auctions in this notebook. These notebooks can be purchased new, but your local ReStore often has them dirt cheap. I am using recycled ones. I also keep separate notebooks for my vintage and antique purse purchasing, and another for estate sales/yard sales combined.
Once all the paperwork is organized, you can readily access it without going crazy, even if all the recording of the documents into your software or manual registers is not yet completed. You can label your notebooks with simple, adhesive mailing labels, or you can use something like this label maker from Dymo (Staples, $29.99):
Believe it or not, this Dymo label maker was a white elephant gift in my family's Christmas exchange 2013, and it was the most fought-after gift we had!
I keep my folders and notebooks in metal file cabinets and bookshelves, retaining them as long as is required for tax purposes. If you are unaware of record retention requirements imposed by the IRS, here's an IRS link to help you get started, along with the link to the Adobe file of IRS Publication 583 (Starting a Business and Keeping Records). Another good source is this document, published in 2004 by the MA Society for Public Accounts titled The Record Retention Guide. Even if you aren't running a business, record retention is good information to know for personal record-keeping. And, if you are thinking of starting a business (even if it's just renting space in an antique mall), you'd be wise to study up on this, as opposed to dropping your shoebox of receipts off to your accountant so that he/she has to charge you to organize it for you.
While I am in no way providing tax guidance, I do have a couple other noteworthy reads for those of you who claim business expenses, or may be eligible to in 2014. The first is the IRS' Simplified Option for Claiming Home Office Deduction Starting with 2013 Returns. Within this link, you will find more detail of the procedure the IRS outlined in early January, 2013. In short, it's a new, simplified option for home office deductions (if you qualify). You avoid the lengthy IRS Form 8829 that requires lots of calculations for percentages of things like utilities, mortgage interest, repairs, etc., and instead, can simply deduct $5 for each square foot of regularly and exclusively used home office space. The limit is 300 square feet for a maximum deduction of $1,500. Also, don't forget the deduction for mileage driven for business purposes (if you qualify) - it can really add up! For 2013, the deduction rate per business mile was 56.5¢, and the rate declined slightly, down to 56¢ per business mile, for 2014. Talking to your CPA or tax accountant about these items will help you understand the full extent of what it takes to qualify.
Lastly, once it's deemed appropriate to dispose of old records, having a paper shredder for home use is highly desirable. A cross-cut model that will take no less than 6 sheets is what I would recommend. We have been using a Royal model that takes 12 sheets for more than 5 years and, although in the $100 price range, there are plenty more at a fraction of that cost. Here is one of Walmart's best-sellers (6-Sheet Crosscut Shredder with Easy Lift Handle, $24.88):
Not only will you free up storage space by shredding unneeded paper, you'll be getting rid of sensitive documents containing personal data AND discouraging identity thieves at the same time. And, if you choose to, you can recycle the material - it would be great for packing fragile items such as ornaments!
Not since November have sister M and I restyled our booth spaces to any great extent in our local antique mall (you can view my last post on that here). We ran a sale through the holidays in an attempt to purge items in stock, and it was fairly successful. The remnants of vintage New Year's items were put away this past week, and we've got a fresh look for the new year in our main space:
We started the mid-January changes in our main booth (one of two rented spaces) by softening the pegboard wall with the addition of a vintage swag valance. We hung it behind the mostly mirrored wall, framing up the entire space. Just beyond the glass case on the floor, the main components of our restyling look like this:
This living room furniture was bought from a private estate purchase late last October in Cincinnati. We have been storing the pieces - the settee and two chairs, coffee table and corner etagere (left, in front of the louvered divider) - in our homes, waiting for the new year. We draped the furniture with lace to discourage casual bystanders (such as spouses waiting on their shopping wives or husbands) and the occasional climber(s).
We styled the wall of mirrors sometime either last November or December, and those remain - all antique or vintage - each with a unique style. On the tufted highback chair pictured above is a vintage set of nesting boxes. A chandelier is perched behind, on a coat rack for display purposes, too heavy to extend from the pegboard wall. To the right is a glimpse of one of our large (locked) curios, containing small treasures.
We use a lot of dividers in our space, as well as a few key furniture pieces (such as the curios), to wall ourselves off from our neighbors in our antique mall (good fences make for good neighbors applies here). It gives us a sense of having our own signature look and space, and is very effective to pleasing our own sense of style. For example, behind the floral divider in the photo above (a $15 bargain sister M recovered with remnant wallpaper and gimp trim) is the storeowner's bookcase and a curio of chotchkies, as well as the mall's service elevator.
On the left side of the restyled main space is the second chair of the pair, a lower back, and behind it is another divider. You can see the slender etagere a little better in this photo (there is a cabinet door below the shelves, just above the open legs at its base). On opposite sides of the settee are a pair of glass mantle lamps, with teardrop pendulums and etched hurricanes. They have a unique, flickering bulb in them that looks like a real flame when plugged in. Behind the chair is an antique floor lamp. To the left is a glimpse of another one of our dividing pieces of furniture.
Here's a closer look of the dividing piece (above), to the left of the second chair. It is a step-back cabinet, with the lower section having louvered, sliding cabinet doors. These shelves hold some of our smalls. Further left of this cabinet is yet another wall divider, strategically placed behind a vintage hat rack and another (jewelry) curio cabinet:
Flanking the opposite side of this main booth space is one of our vintage linen displays, a two-sided rack. In this photo (below), you can see how we manage the back side of our space, right across from the service elevator I mentioned earlier:
In addition to the back side of the linen display, you can see the back of the locked curio of smalls, where we've draped a vintage linen runner and leaned a vintage, framed rose print against it. Out of frame is the owner's bookcase of chotchkies (far right). As you can tell, we use every single square inch of space we rent. We had to get creative with placing the crock bench sideways on the floor, above, in order to stow it within our space, yet keep from taking it back home to store. On the quilted, gateleg table are three wooden containers, each full of various antique and vintage hardware for sale.
Onto our next space....it is just beyond what I've finished describing, catty-cornered from what we've always called our main booth. Both are really main booths, it's just that the 'main' booth was our first space rented before we expanded. We have a total of approximately 300 square feet of space rented.
The above photo is the view from the main booth, showing one end of our second space (the cottage). The next photo shows the angle from the opposite end (our Victorian/Primitive side) ...
This second space is wider than the main booth, and there are no vendors on either side, just aisles anchoring each end, so we don't typically use dividers. We do, however, create subsets within the space. For example, right now we have it sectioned off as one side more whites and cottage-like in appearance, and the opposite side more dark, with antiques, primitives and industrial items sprinkled across both. Our vignettes just depend on our assembled collections and ideas at any given time. Our styling really all depends on the collected items of we three Panoply sisters, and a vision for making things aesthetically appealing with what we have. We also always try to think ahead, in terms of retail shoppers' anticipated seasonal displays.
A few garden items are placed more visibly on the aisle of our second space, in anticipation of spring. There are also a couple more garden items in front of the display case at the center of the main booth area (visible in first photo of this post).
A couple more items hinting at spring...birdhouse and metal birds, plus a laundry theme in the rack, clothesline, well head, and metal hangers on or above the green-blue fern stand.
We find a way of tucking items in every available niche, these items settling just under the desk in the Victorian parlor setting.
We didn't get to finish our entire restyling efforts in one session and, just like at home, there's a domino effect once you move one or two large items.....it keeps going. Next up will be the wall area behind the Victorian fainting couch and desk (I purposely left it out of frame when I captured that vignette). Here's a photo of that wall space that will need attention next - it needs more stuff, as several items sold from the wall and case!
We'll also be changing up things in our cases - a tedious, not so obviously gratifying flashy job, but still necessary. We'll add more items for both Valentine's and St. Patrick Day, segueing right into Spring. Here's a recap of our spaces:
Before and After Holidays - Main Booth Space
Before and After Holidays - Cottage Area of Second Booth Space
Before and After Holidays - Victorian/Primitive Corner
Before and After Holidays - Behind the Main Booth Space
We're hoping to get some of this furniture moving soon, as people tend to fluff their nests January through March (when holidays are behind, income tax refunds come in, and before nice gardening weather breaks). We're ready for our customers - we've got at least two or three rooms of furniture and decor items waiting!
If you're ever traveling our way, stop in! We're at the South Charleston Antique Mall, South Charleston, WV - Exit 56 on I-64). We (Panoply) are just three of more than 75 dealers in a three-floor, 18,000 square foot former department store. What I've shared here is just about 300 of that square footage!
Panoply has been featured in the January 2014 issue of "DIY Decorating Addict". My featured post is "It's Not Easy Being Green...." (from Panoply archives, original post appeared October 15, 2013 here). It was the post I wrote about walking the neighborhood and finding great scores on the day prior to trash pickup.
The magazine is available now, exclusively in the iTunes newsstand from Apple, at this link:
Dianne is offering a special
subscription running through the end of January - 6 months for $5.94 (99 cents per issue, 66% off regular pricing). You can download the subscription easily to your iPad, iPhone or iPod through your iTunes account. Dianne Corriere, Publisher/Editor/Writer of "DIY Decorating Addict",and Happy DIYer, contacted me along with several other bloggers/writers to compile this great resource of a magazine, full of fun projects and ideas, all centered around DIY.
This month's issue has several great projects: a bathroom vanity sink from a flea market chest and barn gate for backsplash; how to update inexpensive brass doorknobs; a Land of Nod knockoff pouf, and several other can't miss DIY successes. Be sure to check them all out in "DIY Decorating Addict"! Thank you, Dianne, for the feature!
POSTSCRIPT: As of January 19, 2014, all water bans have been lifted from the areas which serve the more than 300,000 affected water customers in WV. However, there are still reports of an odor, along with effects after use, of the water. The CDC still advises pregnant women and small children to not drink the water, but that advisory came only AFTER the 'flushing' for resuming water usage began. The long-term effects of this disaster, unfortunately, will only play out in time. The company responsible for the leak, Freedom Industries, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on January 17, 2014 - just a little more than two weeks after the company was formed, one week after the leak.
In case you haven't heard (or you live under a rock), we have been under a "DO NOT USE WATER" notice since January 9, 2014, around 5 pm EST as a result of a Chemical Leak in WV Water. This affects our household and a total of 300,000 people in our state of West Virginia - approximately 15% of our state's entire population. We have been declared a national emergency. There is no timeline for resolution as of this writing, although today's new conference was promising.
Here is a summary of events since January 9, 2014:
7,500 gals of the chemical, 4-Methylcyclohexane Methanol (MCHM), leaked into the Elk River in Charleston, WV, just a little over one mile upstream of our water company's treatment plant, contaminating all water in the system's approximate 1,700 miles. Little data was known on the chemical, used in coal processing, which was being stored in tanks by Freedom Industries, the company responsible for the leak. The material safety data sheets (MSDS) were not written for consumer applications of this chemical, so toxicity protocol had to be written and tested as a first step in mitigating the problem.
Water can only be used for flushing commodes and fighting fires until further notice. This has been in effect since January 9, 2014.
Homeland Security, FEMA, the National Guard, Coast Guard, US Army Corps of Engineers, CDC and OSHA offices have all been called to action. In addition, our state's Health and Human Services, Department of Environment Protection and State Emergency Services are in action. Many scientists are also on the scene, learning the chemical's properties, the toxicity levels, and how to react in a state of emergency such as this.
The Health Department immediately shut schools, restaurants, daycares, and even hospital [scheduled] surgical facilities were all shut down as of last Thursday evening. Many of these facilities are still waiting for temporary solutions to enable operations and end further economic losses.
There have been over 1,000 calls to poison control, reporting symptoms possibly caused by exposure and/or contact with the chemical, including nausea, vomiting, headaches, and contact burns.
Grocery shelves were emptied of water, ice, baby wipes, paper products and frozen foods almost immediately following the ban. Police were called in to help patrol scenes. That situation improved by today (Sunday).
Once the chemical breach is corrected in the water company's system, there will specific instructions, along with a zoned approach, for ramping up consumer service again. Everyone will necessarily have to purge their water lines - tanks, icemakers, humidifiers, and any other water source that may have been used after the leak occurred and prior to the ban for use. The water company has stated they will credit each homeowner with a 1,000 allowance for water to be purged when the time is announced.
We do not know how long this emergency will last, but the latest news conference today indicates that the end may be in sight within the next few days. Lab test analyses over the last 24 hours indicate all readings of the chemical ratio are within the CDC's acceptable recommendations, so zoned purging should begin as early as tomorrow. A computerized program has been written and communication will be rolled out in a 4-pronged approach: computer access (self-serve), automated call-out system, telephone hotline call-in, and local media.
We have received so much help in helping ourselves from so many other states! Thank you, all! West Virginians are a proud, hard-working, and resilient people, but it's certain that we could not have recovered to the extent we have in such short time without the help of our neighbors. If you would still like to contribute to our aid, we could still use your prayers in our situation. The magnitude of this emergency, practically and economically, not to mention physically and emotionally, just gives us a glimpse of how easy it would be to disrupt our worlds and everyday lives as we know it. Prayers that we will be protected from any kind of event like this, unintentional or intentional, will always be welcome.
(Note to readers: This is a rather long post, an exercise in reflection and healing, recounting a significant few days in my life. It's okay if you don't want to read it, but please don't judge me for writing it.)
I've allowed myself some quality cozy time in January, I have to admit. I've been catching up on subscribed magazine and books tossed aside since November (yes, I'm still reading about Christmas inspiration). I watched the entire 5th season of "The Good Wife" last weekend. With my daughter's wedding last October and holidays immediately following, I just never had time. Hallmark Christmas movies are finally caught up.
Mr. P. and I have also started watching syndicated episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" since Christmas. We began watching the show sometime in the 2nd season real-time (or close to it). Anyway, in the early part of Season 2 there was the episode "It's the End of the World", where Meredith (Ellen Pompano) senses something bad is going to happen that day before going to work. Meredith's first-person narrative at the beginning of the episode (standard for the show's writing) asks, "What would you do if you had one day?"
January 27 will mark the 7th year anniversary of a motor vehicle accident my mother had, at a spunky age 86, that led to her death four days later. It was a very mild, sunny winter day (a Saturday), and Mr. P. and I had gone for a walk around noon. He would turn 60 the next day. I carried my cell phone, but when we walk, I usually don't feel the vibration in my back pocket. That day was no different.
When we got home, there was a message on the land line, from my sister M, saying mom had been in a wreck, and sister M took her to the ER. It was around 12:30 pm. We hurried over to the ER where mom was, with sister M.
When I walked in, and saw my mom sitting in the waiting area, watch her take the ice bag off of her forehead, I just said, "Oh mom, I'm so sorry". She had a huge hematoma in the center of her forehead, and her eyes were both black and blue. My sister looked frustrated, and Mr. P. asked what happened. Mom: "I wrecked my car coming out of the bank". Sister M: "She refused to come to the hospital in an ambulance. She tried to call you, but you didn't answer, so she called me. When I got here, she kept yelling at me to call you (with mom's cell phone; sister M didn't even have a cell phone back then), but you didn't answer. The ambulance driver tried to convince her to let him bring her, but she refused. So I brought her myself". Mr. P.: "Where's the car?" Sister M: "At the bank on 38th Street, where it happened". (The accident was six blocks from where I live). "She was in the drive-thru lane, and her car accelerated. She came across the road, hit a parked car across the street, and then her car made a u-turn toward oncoming traffic, and she hit the utility pole at the corner of the bank. Thank God there was no traffic coming. [Electric] lines were down over her car, and she was screaming, literally screaming, that she couldn't find her gloves. I was looking for them on the floor, but couldn't find them, and then I lost it, and started screaming back." (We are Italian and we don't do calm. We talk and others think we are yelling. When sister M said she was screaming, I knew it was true. I could tell by the remorseful look on her face.) Mr. P. (to my mom): "Norma, we're probably going to have to take your keys from you, you know". Mom: "Oh NO (while holding ice pack on forehead)! How will I get my hair done?! I have to go to Florida." (She was planning a trip that coming March, to see her terminally ill brother, 11 years younger).
What happened during the next eighteen hours was pretty much the end of my mom's life, and none of us knew it until early the next morning, in the 18th hour, when the nurse on duty called to say mom had had a bad night. Not even the four long-term medical professionals in our family - three pharmacists and one nurse - knew the consequences of the events that day until it was pretty much too late.
What would you do if you had one day?
Back in the ER, I immediately went into business mode, my most natural and best way to be. I had been going with my mom to all of her Dr. appointments for the previous year, taking copious notes, tracking blood results in Excel spreadsheets, communicating with family, and advocating for her, in general. She had a near-death experience with a bleeding ulcer the year prior, and she had also been diagnosed with MDS - myelodysplastic syndrome (the blood disorder Robin Roberts of "Good Morning America" made famous before her bone marrow transplant in 2012). In short, MDS causes a mutation in red blood cell production such that, instead of the normal 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, etc. cell division, you may get 1, 4, 5, 7, etc., and your red blood count decreases, causing low hemaglobin readings. Mom had already received red blood plasma infusions at least twice previously for her low hemaglobin during the course of her MDS treatment.
I immediately advocated for my mom to get a speedier admission due to her blood disorder, and the fact that she was losing blood (the hematoma was growing). It was around 2:30 pm before they got her into a bed, and a string of nurses and doctors filed in, each doing their own verbal intake. I scrambled to contact immediate family members, one by one, on my cell phone (this was 2007, and not everyone had cell phones, and I certainly didn't have all the numbers in my "dumb" phone (no smartphone) at that time. I have 8 brothers and sisters, and mom had 2 brothers).
By 5:30 pm, doctors ran a battery of test and x-rays, and later ordered a CT scan. Nothing was broken, but there was an indication of a possible subdural hematoma, yet mom was still very alert. She still kept asking about her gloves, and her car, and talking, in general. Blood was ordered for mom, as her hemaglobin was dangerously low, and I kept updating family.
The weather turned snowy that evening, but sister J and her husband left their OH home to travel in, about a 4 hour drive. Somewhere along that drive, J realized that if mom received blood infusion the combination of the subdural and underlying MDS could prove deadly - she would likely just bleed out any infusion.
By 10:30 pm that evening, mom was being admitted on a floor, and the night nurse did a full intake with me, sister M, and one pharmacist brother and his pharmacist wife (who both worked at that hospital and knew that nurse). Mom seemed to be resting comfortably, getting sleepy. Her conversation was getting a little tired, too. I remember her saying, "He'll know what to do". When I asked her "who, mom?" she only repeated the statement, "He'll know what to do". I asked if she meant brother J, the other pharmacist, who normally filled her prescriptions (he was in retail pharmacy and had not been to the hospital yet). Mom just nodded. The nurse stated she would call us if anything changed significantly for mom through the night, that the nuerosurgeon would be consulted in the morning. We went home to regroup.
What would you do if you had one day?
At home, Mr. P. said she (mom) would be fine when he could see I was visibly upset. The next day was his birthday, and I had planned to cook dinner for all of his family, ten of us in total. I immediately got on the computer and googled "subdural hematoma". Not good. Acute subdural hematomas are among the deadliest of all head injuries, with a greater than 60% mortality rate in people age 60 or over is what I read. Mom was going to die. Needless to say, dinner was canceled. So was Mr. P.'s birthday.
What would you do if you had one day?
Sister J arrived late that Saturday of the accident, and stayed at sister M's house. They called me around 5:30 am that next morning (after the nurse on duty had called them in the 18th hour). We got to the hospital by 6 am, and went in to see mom.
By morning, Mom couldn't speak. It appeared she had had a couple of mild strokes in the wee hours of the morning, just before we got the call, and her left side was affected. Sisters J and M let me go in (they arrived before me and had already been in), and when I sat next to mom, I took her right hand in mine. Her forehead looked frighteningly misshaped, and when she looked at me, her eyes looked as if they had some weird, prosthetic contacts on them. I was scared, and upset, but didn't want her to see me cry so I tried my best to hold back the tears, lips quivering and swelling, eyes welling. I tried to be calm while I said, "I'm not very good at this". What she did next left an indelible mark on my brain that I will never forget, and always cherish. Mom raised her right index finger to my cheek, and grazed it downward, from my temple down to my jawline. She spoke to me with her eyes, we both spoke, silently, heart to heart, soul to soul. She slipped into a comatose state almost immediately after.
The neurosurgeon arrived shortly after, and upon a quick responsiveness exam, came back to the hall to confer with sisters J, M, and me. Sister J (the nurse) took the initiative to engage with the Dr., and then translated to us. Sister M was the legal and medical power of attorney, and a decision would soon need to be rendered. Meanwhile, mom was being transported to ICU while results of the CT scan from the night prior were delivered.
The diagnosis was confirmed as an acute, subdural hematoma, and mom's brain was almost entirely engulfed in a flood of blood. Given mom's age and her blood disorder, the neurosurgeon did not recommend surgery. The decision for palliative care was made (easily), because we knew mom did not want extreme measures to stay alive. Additional family members arrived by late that afternoon (a Sunday), and the priest was called and administered her last rites. Mom was moved to a semi-private room, and the hospital staff moved the 2nd bed out, and more chairs in for the family to stay with mom.
Mom was so strong otherwise - her heart, lungs - and she rested rather comfortably for the next 24-48 hours while we all kept vigil. Other siblings were making inevitable arrangements for bereavement time, traveling home, while we waited and watched mom slip away. We kept applying her lipstick (she always dressed to the nines, and wouldn't be caught without her lipstick!), and it became a quirky family thing, later memorialized by one sister who bought us each this little plaque:
Mom's skin and manicured/pedicured nails continued looking better than most of ours, but by Tuesday, other signs were beginning to surface - her urine output was less and getting darker, she was experiencing labored breathing more frequently, and her legs began to have a mottled appearance - all signs of the end being near. Mom was made comfortable in her last days, with the help of Ativan and Morphine drugs, in rotation, to ease pain and labored breathing. We kept written notes on the whiteboard so we could know when to alert the nursing staff.
On Wednesday morning, a nurse aide gave mom a sponge bath, and washed her hair. It was Wednesday afternoon, just minutes past 3:30 pm that mom passed. We lightheartedly said she waited for "General Hospital" to be over (which she loved and watched until it went off air).
Mom's funeral was a beautiful celebration, put together in collaboration by almost all her nine children. We selected everything from the casket, her clothes, the readings, and the songs. The choir sang "Be Not Afraid", "On Eagle's Wings", "Ave Maria", "Bread of Life" and "Let There Be Peace". As a prayer of commendation, we had a special tribute song, "Mama", by Il Divo, played in our co-cathedral at the end of the funeral mass over the speakers.
What would you do if you had one day?
Having the four days post-accident was time borrowed to help each of us wrap our heads around the fact that mom was going to die, but if I had only had one day, I would not have left mom's side that first night. It saddens me greatly, still, to listen to "Mama", to remember the vision of mom touching my cheek that last time, to write this, to read this.
My dad passed away when I was 28 and, although it was also very sad, it is just different when one's mother dies. Or, maybe it's the fact that she died after dad, and now there are no parents. Love transcends time, though, so to have just one day is irrelevant. I know I will see them both again.
Mom, (with her long-time companion), wearing the dress we buried her in, dressed to the nines
(Thank you, Cindy at Dwellings, Marty at A Stroll Thru Life, and Debra at Common Ground for featuring this post!)
As much as I love Christmas decor, I do love the clean slate of putting it all away after the holidays. This year, I had everything completely stowed by New Year's Eve and I'm planning to enjoy some time catching up on reading and planning throughout January. Here are some before and after shots of holiday decor/quiet winter in my sunroom, my favorite place to be.
I switched out my holiday reds and greens for some soft neutrals throughout the sunroom. The Christmas wreath was replaced with a handmade, natural twill, rose wreath. The Pottery Barn holly & berry lumbar pillow on the chaise was replaced with a Frontgate after-summer clearance, a fringed lumbar in greens & greys. The throw is now a cozy, faux fur score from Big Lots - $14!
The center table in the sunroom has gone from a holiday centerpiece to an all-natural, woodsy appearance by simple removing the greens and reds, and clustering all the loose pine cones in the room into the tray. Gone are the plaid throw and holiday toss pillows on the chairs in the background, replaced by pillows covered in all neutrals.
Pictured above is the side server, an old washstand which I scored at auction, that sits just inside the sunroom wall. Beneath the shelf you see pictured here, we gather recyclable newspapers and magazines in a wire basket, so it's a multi-purpose piece. I've switched out all of the dessert displays (long gone!) for a winter-fresh potted freesia plant I picked up at the grocery. It smells SO good to walk past it and have that faint fragrance linger (which, btw, Mr. P. has not detected, so you know it's faint)! The copper watering jug is an antique find, and the framed photograph (hard to see for the light glare from the sunroof windows) is a local park scene, in each of the four seasons.
In the opposite corner of my sunroom stands a wrought-iron baker's rack, on which I store books and magazines on the lower shelves, and some sort of seasonal display on the top. I switched out my garland and woodland Santa for my doorknob rose garden and 'Marguerite' statue after Christmas. The wooden bowl displays my flint stone treasures uncovered in my landscape renovation, relics of pre-historic Native American inhabitants.
Right next to the french doors that lead from the sunroom to the courtyard outside, I switched out the holiday scene of poinsettia and lighted logs to a much more quiet look of all neutrals. Although the lights are a welcome sight, I really don't like putting one or two leftovers away out of sync with the rest of my holiday decor. It seems to disrupt my organizational aura, and I despise stacking and unstacking the tubs numerous times in the basement. So out the lights went, along with the poinsettia, which still had some life in it. For some reason this year, the poinsettia plants I bought had extreme shedding of the little buds - what a mess! I was glad to see those go, too!
This is my stack of Christmas decor all tucked away in the basement.
And here's my tree, until next year.
And here's where you'll most likely find me during January, catching up on reading, enjoying a long winter's nap, and planning things like what to purge, and to how to restyle our booth spaces at the antique mall. I've got a few finds I'll be sharing soon that were too late to classify during the holiday rush - some great purchases at auction and estate sales. Hmm....what to keep and what to sell...that is the question.
But a walk through the garden hinted at something else yesterday.....
The birds (those indoors, anyway) know what season it still is....
